just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
