Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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