no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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