I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im holly from the hills drunk
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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