i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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