I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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