When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
