I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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