I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The adults are the big ones right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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