I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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