erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
