i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize