that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
