Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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