He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
