Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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