mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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