You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
