meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
