the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
