What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
