why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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