glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
God, I missed his penis.
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