I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
