Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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