Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
