she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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