We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
