If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
