So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This show inspires me to have sex in space
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
