I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
