I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
