4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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