some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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