i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
