My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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