Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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