and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And then he peed in my hair
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