Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
