I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
