sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
