I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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