Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
