That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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