Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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