Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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