Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
