Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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