I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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