Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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