the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
