She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My pussy is not your playground.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
