OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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