next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
