he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You are a genius and a whore.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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