Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
