How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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