why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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