so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
