What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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