Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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