OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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