I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Randomize
