there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
