im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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