i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
