How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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