I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
tell me about the fingering
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
